Like most girls, journaling was an important part of my life when I was growing up. It was my favorite way of expressing my deepest most intimate thoughts, feelings, ideas and experiences without fear of judgment or rejection. I did not have to explain myself to anyone, nor did I have to apologize for my tone. I was free to say what was on my heart and mind without restriction; it was my safe space.

When I was 14 years old, I did something that I had never done before and it forever changed my relationship with journaling. I allowed someone to read my entire journal. A young man named Will! Will was my crush at the time and he also happened to be the main focus of the journal. Will was handsome…I mean weak in the knees handsome and quite honestly I was more proud of the fact that he showed an interest in me than anything else. I considered Will a “prize”. Having his attention validated me in a way I had not been validated before and for some strange reason, I wanted him to know that.

When he was done reading my journal he wrote his own entry letting me know that he understood how I felt about him, he also expressed some of his feelings for me. Even though things ended between us soon after that, I felt known and understood and that excited me!! I wanted to keep feeling that. I continue to journal to this day but it’s not the same; it feels lonely and impersonal to me now. Now, I journal to remember not necessarily to express and it feels more like a record or a log and nothing like the safe space it once was…which brings me to why I’m here.

Several months ago, I shared a journal entry with several women I am connected to via a text thread and to my surprise, the consensus was me too. The feelings and thoughts that I shared were shared by others but each of them thought they were the only ones; a belief that often times breeds loneliness. However, the “me too” response to what I shared made us all feel known, understood and accepted.

After sharing several more journal entries (and receiving a few threats, smile), I decided to open my “journal” up to the world in blog form via WordPress. My hope is to once again have A Safe Space for some of my deepest most intimate thoughts, feelings, ideas and experiences to be shared (and discussed) without judgement or rejection, with those whose response will be “me too” as well as those whose response will be “wow, I had no idea”.

A lot has changed since I was 14. Now, 42 years old, with 14 1/2 years of married life under my belt, raising seven children (three young adults, three teenagers and an 8 year old) my deepest most intimate thoughts, feelings, ideas and experiences are often times scary and dark…but the desire to be known, understood and accepted remains. Therefore, without further ado, I give you— A Safe Space!